My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
