why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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