it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
