Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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