Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
