in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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