okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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