When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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