i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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