wanna go halves on a baby?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
