when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
