For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
