is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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