So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
