I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
