Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
