I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
