That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
