Ketchup is God's man juice
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
