your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They took my balls.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize