So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
