You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
