How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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