You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
