guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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