Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
