I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
