Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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