hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
