I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
