i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
