i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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