Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
