I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was confusing and full of hummus
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
