I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
