why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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