Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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