fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My bed smells like the plague
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