he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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