oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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