His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
