Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
