i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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