Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
