The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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