Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
