so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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