Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
