Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
