This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
don't judge my taste in strippers
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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