You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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