Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
