are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize