and you said cock pushups were impossible
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
