I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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