so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
