And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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