Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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