ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This girl is more easily done than said...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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