Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
