What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
