Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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