clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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