i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So vagazzling was a success
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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