What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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