The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You left your underwear on the fireplace
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The power of my boobs compel you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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