You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize