he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
