batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
