In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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