Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize