the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
