My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
