I hate all girls vehemently.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
