U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
