Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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