wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
